


Fates of The Gods

by emeraldsandstardust



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor Has a Heart (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor is Bad at Feelings (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor is in Hell for a Reason (Hazbin Hotel), Angst, Cajun Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Protective Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Reader is Slavic, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Soft Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:41:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25812247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldsandstardust/pseuds/emeraldsandstardust
Summary: You are an Overlord of Hell, a less commonly seen one. You are known as the Rusalka, and you have been in Hell for a very, very long time. You somehow show interest in the newly opened Happy Hotel, not realizing that a different Overlord has already offered his assistance to the owner, but she takes your offer too.Will you and Alastor bump heads, or will you both push your egos aside and get along? Will the acquaintanceship blossom into something beautiful? Or will it rot like your dark hearts?(Hi all! This is a very new thing I'm trying here. I am intending for this to be a slow burn, and a pretty long fic. This may take a while, but I will do my utmost hardest! One more thing.You, the reader, have essentially been put in the perspective of my Hazbin OC, Rusalka. However, I am leaving any descriptions of the general appearance, aside from a few key features like eye colour, completely open so that you can imagine yourself in the role. Hope you enjoy!)
Relationships: Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) & Reader, Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)/Reader, Charlie Magne & Vaggie, Charlie Magne/Vaggie
Comments: 13
Kudos: 62





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is just the prologue so your character may be a little vague, but Chapter One will clean all of that up, don't you worry!  
> \---  
> TRIGGER WARNING: THREATS OF RAPE, NO ACTUAL RAPE, JUST THREATS.

Falling, you were falling.  
You were falling and you couldn't make it stop. What have the gods done to forsake you like this? You let out a scream, but it is short lived as you soon land on the ground, hard. The air is knocked out of you and for a while, you have no energy to get up. You lay there, simply thinking about all you remembered, all you knew. 

Your life in the small village, working as the high priestess of the temple of Marena, your beloved, dark goddess of winter and death and witchcraft. You remember the men coming into the village, on horseback, in armour. How they took over, with their 'one true god' and their crosses and their horrible rules. How they burned your temple down. The fire, the misery. How you had cried, begged your goddess for forgiveness. That you would make it up to her.  
How they took you, the evil men, after burning your temple down. They accused you of witchcraft, and they were right, but they saw this as...a bad thing, a sin. Unholy. They burned you down just like that temple, right in front of everyone in the village. 

The stench of burning flesh haunted you, the crackling and the heat of the merciless fire.  
But you were alive? No... How could you be? You were burned. This must be what came after.  
You sat up suddenly, eyes wide. You took a gulp of air, gasping, choking. The smell of smoke lingered on you. You looked down at yourself, the torn linen dress and the messy, frazzled hair, and your skin.  
It was ashy. Your regular skin colour, but then...as though you had rolled around in a pile of ash. Your fingertips and nails were blackened, jet black. You rushed over to a nearby puddle, peering into it. Your face was...similar now as it had been in life. It was gaunt, and your eyes were entirely black save for a pair of (e/c) irises. You shivered. Empty voids. You glanced up to your forehead, where there was a dark red moon symbol glowing. It was on it's side, the open side pointing up at the sky. You smiled. The moon. A reminder of your power, of your devotion. A source of female energy.

Now you took the time to look around you. What an odd place. Big buildings everywhere, bigger than you had ever seen in your life. The sky was a blood red, and there was a huge pentagram in it. Your eyes narrowed. Something told you that you would not be meeting your goddess in this afterlife. You sigh, picking yourself up and dusting your dress off. 

You heard voices behind you. You couldn't understand them, they were speaking a language you could not comprehend.  
"Fresh meat, huh boys? She definitely looks pretty."  
You turned around to face three...beings. Each seemed male, one appearing to look like an alligator, the other two wolves. You didn't appreciate the way they were approaching you. You may not understand them, but their tones and body language told you that they did not come with good intentions.

"Look at her, she's clueless!" The wolf barked. "Bet she can't even understand us. She won't say a peep to anyone. Let's take her and show her a good time, huh?"  
"Oh, absolutely!" The alligator cackled. "A young little thing like her definitely needs to be taught how things work around here."

They approached you, while you backed away, until suddenly they began running. Your eyes widened and you turned to sprint in the other direction, ready to scream for help, but something told you that no one here would care. This seemed like a bad place. Before you knew it, the three had caught up to you, both wolves grabbing each of your arms. Your eyes were wide and you shrieked as they held you down, beginning fumble with your dress, but before they could so much as lift it, flames suddenly consumed them. They let you go and you gasped, rushing as far away from them as you could. Your skin crawled as you watched the fire, horrible flashbacks in your mind, and then you suddenly realized.  
They were on fire because of you. Your eyes narrowed. They deserved it. After thinking that, the flames seemed to grow bigger and hotter. You were suddenly bursting with anticipation, hearing their delightful screams as they fell to the floor, trying to put themselves out. Now they knew how it felt. 

Without a word, you turned and headed off, glancing down at your hands and smiling a little. Perhaps your goddess had given you a final parting gift. You would make sure to put it to good use.


	2. Static Voodoo Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all. First proper chapter, yay!!! It took me a while because we've had a heatwave that makes me want to do nothing all day, but I'm trying my best to deliver! No warnings for this one, hope you enjoy!

Hell had only seen another two weeks or so after the fiasco on News 666 and the whole situation of it becoming known that none other than the Radio Demon, Alastor himself was assisting the Princess of Hell in her mission of 'redemption' and 'getting demons to Heaven'. Obviously, little progress had been made in that time; this was Hell, after all. Wanting to become a good person just for the sake of becoming a good person wasn't exactly a common goal to people here. Still, Charlie would be damned (pun intended maybe) if she didn't help at least one soul. Even if that was just Angel Dust. It helped that Vaggie was on her side, supporting her and keeping her cheerful. And sane. 

Each day, Charlie would stick to a similar routine. Wake up, get dressed. Eat a lovely breakfast prepared by Niffty or even Alastor himself. She would sort a couple papers, talk to Vaggie in the front lobby. Wait. And wait. She'd help with some chores. Wait in the lobby. Eat dinner. Pass by the lobby, gazing at the front door more often than she probably should. Because what if today was the day? What if it would be at that very hour that their next lost soul would enter those doors and ask for a room and a road to moral improvement? She couldn't just miss it! She had to be there to greet the guest! 

Everyone knew of her habits, but as it gave Charlie such hope and joy, Vaggie didn't discuss it. Not just yet anyway. It was still early on, what if her girlfriend was right and someone was bound to come through those doors seeking help? Angel and Husk didn't seem to care much, and Niffty simply didn't notice, so preoccupied with restoring the hotel and cleaning up after everyone. Alastor had brought it up on his third day of being there, but after hearing Charlie's reasoning, decided to just let her do her thing.

So there she was, gazing longingly at the door. Thirteen days had passed since Alastor had joined the hotel, since she had announced its opening on live TV. Thirteen days of nothing. She sighed. She felt doubt creep into her mind once more. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe no one here really wanted redemption. She heard Vaggie calling her over to the dining room for dinner.   
"I'm coming!" She replied, glancing back at her, before at the door once again. Go on. Do it. Please. Please, random soul, I know you want it. Just walk on in and open the door.  
"Honey!" Vaggie called again. "Come on, Angel is threatening to eat your food!"   
Charlie smiled a little. "I'm coming, I'm coming. Angel, you better leave my dinner alone!" She laughed a bit, feeling her mood brighten. At least she had those lovable misfits. Still... She gazed at the door longingly for a moment longer, before heading off to dinner. 

The meal went by pretty uneventfully, and soon after Niffty began to clear the table while everyone made small talk, Charlie discussing plans for the hotel with Alastor, who nodded along, staring at her with that ever present grin. Their conversation was interrupted, however, by a sudden loud knock on the door. 

Charlie gasped, stopping mid sentence. She swivelled round to face the doorway of the room, her face suddenly turning into one of pure excitement. "Oooooooh, someone's at the door!" She squealed. "I knew it was only a matter of time!" She didn't hesitate to run off to the lobby, heading to open the door. Vaggie, on the other hand, was much more cautious. She followed after her girlfriend because she was curious as to who could be at the door, but also made sure to keep her guard up. Alastor even joined them, simply wanting to know what kind of filth could possibly be seeking redemption. Even Angel came, looking equally curious. Husk stayed at the bar, rather indifferent as usual, preferring to continue his drinking.

Charlie, rushing over to the door, opened it excitedly. "Welcome to the Happy Ho-" She froze, expression of glee turning to one of shock. She turned around suddenly, glancing at Vaggie. Her visible eye had widened, obviously shocked too. Alastor was still grinning, though his eyes held a tinge of surprise. Angel, the poor guy, just looked confused at everyone's reactions, peering into the doorway.  
There stood a woman. She was a little taller than Charlie, but definitely shorter than Alastor. She looked rather humanoid, really, though her skin colour had a dead, ashy tone to it and her eyes were both fully black with bright (e/c) irises. She was a rather beautiful demon actually, holding an air of grace and power. Her silky hair was left as natural, no updo or any accessories. She wore an off-white shirt which was rather well fitted to her body, but with loose bishop sleeves. A crimson scarf wrapped firmly around her waist as a belt, along with a circle skirt of the same off-white colour as her shirt, reaching just below her knees. She had layers of underskirt beneath it, red and grey, so the skirt had a fair bit of volume to it. She also wore red high heeled pumps. The most notable feature on her, however, was the red crescent moon, open side facing up, right on her forehead. It was almost glowing.   
Charlie cleared her throat, tempted to slam the door shut as she had when she first saw Alastor. She blinked, looking over at Vaggie, who looked just as stunned.   
You cleared your throat before speaking up, voice laced with a tinge of an eastern slavic accent accent.  
"Pardon me. I was told that this is the hotel made with the aim of redeeming demons?" You ask, tilting your head. Charlie laughed nervously before nodding, looking up at you.   
"Yeahh, ummm.... Can you just give us one moment please?" She asked, before shutting the door. 

Charlie turned to Vaggie, looking panicked. "What do we do?" She whispered. Vaggie looked over her, brows furrowing. "Why are there two overlords coming to our hotel now?" She muttered. Angel raised a brow. "That broad is an overlord?" He asked, folding his lower set of arms. Vaggie turned to him. "Are you seriously that clueless?!"   
Angel shrugged. Vaggie groaned. "Fine. I'll tell you."

"Long ago, they say not even too long after Hell was first created, she arrived. She was burned in 12th century Russia on suspicion of being a witch, and of course they were correct. She became known as the Rusalka, named after a mythologcal creature known to bewhat appears as a beautiful woman, but is actually a killer. That's of course, not her real name. No one knows her real name. She is said to be very capable with her skill, one of the oldest and most powerful magic-users in Hell. She has an old rundown temple she lives in on the outskirts of the city, hidden in a dark forest. They say anyone who enters it, never leaves." 

There was a moment of silence before Alastor was heard laughing. "Really now, how amusing. She looks like a rather charming lady, how about we show her some manners and let her in?" He said, moving to open the door.

You blinked, staring at the man who opened the door for you. He did seem rather dapper, and you vaguely recognized him. But socializing was hard in your abandoned temple, you always had trouble keeping up with things as the centuries passed by. He was constantly grinning though, which was...odd. There was also an air to him... He had magic too.

"Hello, my dear!" He said, voice coated in radio static and false cheeriness. "My name is Alastor, it's a pleasure to be meeting you! Do come in, we've kept you waiting long enough! Why, this is the very hotel you were searching for indeed! Oh, but pardon me! I have not yet allowed you to introduce yourself, how rude of me!" He stopped his little rant in order to let you speak. You blinked, a little put off by his overexcitable energy. Centuries of solitude, you supposed. You cleared your throat.  
"Ahem. I am the Rusalka, children." You spoke. "I have come because I incidentally heard talk of this place on my once-a-century visit to the city." You sigh. "It sounded so very curious, you know. In my eight hundred or so years here, I don't think I've ever once heard of a demon managing such a feat as redemption."

Charlie, who had been listening to you the whole time, nodded. "Yeah, so far it's just an idea, but... I have high hopes!" She said cheerily. "So would you like to, uhhhh.... check in at the hotel?"   
You give a small chuckle. "Oh, no, no. I have been here for much longer than even this...staticky voodoo man, mister Alastor." You gestured to the demon, who's smile stiffened slightly. "There is little hope for me. No, I have come to offer my personal services."   
Vaggie narrowed her eyes suspiciously.   
"Oh yeah? And how are we supposed to know you won't just...destroy the hotel from the inside?" She asked. You snort.   
"Please. If I wanted to destroy this place from the inside, all it would take is a snap of my fingers. No, no. I crave something more difficult to achieve than that." You sigh. "You see... Staying alone in the temple for hundreds of years is all well and good until you realize that your passion for running the temple and devoting yourself to your goddess is running dry." You shake your head, seeming ashamed. "I begged her for the permission to take a break to recollect myself, threw some bones, and upon receiving a positive reading, I took it as a yes." 

They all stared at you, partly stunned and partly suspicious. Vaggie broke the silence.   
"So you want to help us so you can...have an excuse to leave your temple?" She asked cynically. You nod, smiling. "Precisely."  
Angel Dust groaned. "I swear, all you Overlords are eccenctric as fuck." He muttered, before heading off. "If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room."   
Charlie ignored him. "Okay, well, uh... All help is appreciated, so...! Yes, thank you. Ahem. So this means you believe redemption is possible?" You laughed.  
"Ah, not quite. But I believe hope is always possible, and well... the gods work in mysterious ways." You shrugged. "Perhaps I shall be proven wrong."   
Charlie nodded. "Alright then. Well uh, how about Alastor shows you the ropes? You've been managing this place great so far, Al. I'm sure you can think of something for Rusalka."   
Alastor nodded quickly. "Oh, of course! Well, since I am somewhat of a manager of this place, as I'm sure the lovely owner would agree," he glanced over at Charlie with a smug grin, while the blond nodded with a smile, "then I think you would make a perfect assistant! Perhaps even one day, if you're almost as good as me, I could promote you to co-manager!" He laughed heartily, and you narrowed your eyes slightly, feeling a tad patronized.  
"...Alright, thank you. I accept the position as manager's assistant." You said calmly, making Alastor's grin widen. There was something malicious deep within it. Did he see you as competition? But for what? His position? You were almost certain that he cared less for his position here than you did yours. Power? Your magic? Could he sense it, like you could his? His shadows, lurking in the dark corners, out of sight. The occasional sigil or two floating around him when he thought no one was looking. The thick radio static in the air. 

Could he sense your power? The vague glow of the moon symbol on your forehead, the little flurry of magic it exuded? The subtle smell of smoke around you, maybe a soft crackling of a fire if the room was extra silent. The magic near your hands, sometimes bending the air like fire did, causing whatever you could see behind it to appear to wobble a little.

You smiled. Only time would tell.


	3. A Lady of Your Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Second chapter is here, finally! I may be a little slower for now as I'm buried in work, but I assure you all that I'm trying my best to deliver! Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter.

From the get-go, Alastor knew he couldn't mess with you like he messed with...pretty much everyone else save for Lucifer himself. You were clearly experienced with complicated magic and all sorts of evils, and any stupid tricks could lead to him compromising his reputation and perhaps the fact that he was currently very comfortable with not being on fire. 

You see, Alastor knew a bit more about you than the others. Alastor, naturally, took the time to research while he was overthrowing other Overlords back when he first arrived in Hell. He knew you were adept in magic, particularly fire-related magic. He knew that was because your cause of death had been deeply fire-related itself. He knew you came from an era that he had only learned about in history books, much before even his grandparents could have been born. An era when Christianity was working to eradicate witchcraft everywhere it went. He knew exactly where your temple resided, and while he had been tempted to go there and eliminate you like some others, he decided against it. You were not allied with any other Overlord, and this made you useful. It meant that maybe, if he played his cards right, you could become an ally of his. But he'd have to see what 'playing his cards right' specifically entailed later on. He needed to seek out your weaknesses and pick at them. Slowly. Playfully. Find your strengths and compliment them. Subtly. 

Oh, this would be some wonderful entertainmemt indeed.

"So, my dear, how about I show you to your new room, hm?" He asked, dropping his grin into simply a charming smile for you. He had to see what worked and what didn't. If that's what it took, he would oblige.   
You didn't seem very moved by the actions though, where he knew other women... scummy, filthy, nasty women, would be falling over themselves. You simply looked over him, expression nothing short of cautious.   
"Yes, thank you." You said, glancing at Charlie. She smiled, holding a thumbs up for you.   
"Oh! Before you go!" She said quickly, interrupting Alastor. Damn little brat...-  
"My name is Charlie, in case you didn't know! I'm the uh, princess of Hell. This is my girlfriend, Vaggie. That's Niffty and Husk over there, and Angel Dust is the one who went up to his room. Anyway, uh, I hope you enjoy your time here!" She chirped. You expression moved into a small smile. You could see something in this child that you didn't see in pretty much anyone else in this entire hovel. Genuine good. You made a small promise to yourself that this girl should never be hurt, not if you can help it.  
"Of course, Charlie. Thank you." You said warmly. Alastor interrupted. 

"Well then, now that introductions are out of the way, how you and I take the long way around this building? I can give you a tour while we head to your room, come, dear!" With that, he grabbed your wrist and dragged you off. Your eyes widened and you stumbled behind him for a bit before suddenly ripping your hand away, looking angered. He may be able to drag everyone else here around like puppets, but not you. You wouldn't just lie there and take it.  
"Pardon you!" You snapped, the air around you growing quite hot all of a sudden. Alastor turned, smile stiff. "I'm certain you are from a time much later than I, but I would at least hope that you were taught not to drag a lady around like that! That is a telltale sign of a man raised without respect." You straightened your skirts, sighing irritably. Alastor was silent for a while, his grin taut and tense, trying to keep his temper in check, before he spoke.  
"Why, I was simply so caught up in the excitement of having a new colleague, it entirely slipped my mind! Being able to show such a pretty dame around the hotel that Charlotte and I have been working so very hard upon is a very exciting prospect, my dear!"  
You look up at him, narrowing your eyes slightly.   
"I see. Well, I suppose little boys do have a tendency to get overexcited, yes." You reply, hiding your smirk as you see him visibly stiffen upon being called a boy. You fold your arms. Whatever bullshit he got away with on everyone else will not work on you.   
"Mhm. Do not worry, my dear, next time I will take into account the fact that you are rather old, and may find it difficult to keep up." He replies, to your indignation. Why, you were still not a day over twenty five! How dare him! You don't show your annoyance though, instead narrowing your eyes and smirking.   
Alastor continues. "Come, then. Let me show you the kitchens first, hm? I do love a bit of good cooking, you know, my mother taught me all sorts of wonderful recipes!" He led you off, acting as though the incident didn't happen. You follow after him with a nod.   
"Really now? Did she teach you how to behave like a gentleman, too?" You ask conversationally. He suddenly whips around to face you, taking your hand in his. For a moment you thought he was going to attack, and you prepare to retaliate, but instead, he bows down a bit to kiss the back of it, still grinning up at you.  
"Of course. But do not take the differences in culture as a lack of manners, my dear, I am a gentleman of my time just as you are a lady of your time! ...Your old, old time."   
He turns back to continue the tour while you wipe your hand on your skirt, lip curled in disgust. He thought he was charismatic, but to you he was predatory more than anything. 

The tour was pretty uneventful, but you both kept making subtle jabs at one another. You found that Alastor seemingly never closes his mouth, so it's hard to speak sometimes, but when you did you made sure it is something that will annoy him. You long to see that unflattering grin wiped clean off his face. He would look much nicer with a softer, more genuine smile, or perhaps simply a neutral, brooding expression. But anyway, you digress.  
Alastor had led you to your new room, opening the door for you and letting you walk in first. You do so, looking around. The room is simple but elegant, with a large bed and a rug and a warderobe, even a vanity and a chest of drawers. There was another room which you safely presumed led off into the bathroom, and a sliding glass door that led into a balcony. 

"What a nice room." You murmur.  
"Why, I couldn't agree more! Do not worry, my dear, I wouldn't allow a lady such as yourself to stay in an unkept hovel!" He laughed, and you noticed a recorded laugh track played behind his voice. How odd.  
"...Yes, thank you." You replied, sighing. "When do I begin my work?"   
Alastor hummed, tapping his chin thoughtfully. You wondered if he was actually mulling it over or if he just wanted to make you wait. You presumed the latter, he seemed like the kind of person to plan everything in ludicrous detail.  
"Well, I think the rest of today you may have off as there is little to be done, so you may settle in for now! Your work will begin tomorrow, my dear assistant." He smirked, tilting his head. You look over him, before nodding slowly. "...Alright." You murmur, and turn to feel the sheets of your new bed. They were rather soft and plush, to your delight. Suddenly, you feel a hand on your chin tilting your head up. You stared at Alastor, who still grinned.  
"Oh, and when I see you bright and early tomorrow, remember to smile, darling! You're never fully dressed without one!"  
You smirk up at him, yanking his hand away from you. You take delight in how he stiffens when you grab his wrist.   
"No, thank you." You reply with a purr. "I would much rather not appeal to your odd fetishes."  
Upon hearing that, you see something darken in his gaze. Oh, you had absolutely hit a nerve, judging by how the constant radio static around him increased in volume and a red aura built around him, sigils floating in it.   
You chuckle.   
"Aw. Can't take a joke? I thought a smile was supposed to indicate humour." You fold your arms.  
"I suppose our senses of humour differ then, darling." He replied, voice glitchy and smile tense. You fight back the urge to laugh. He returns to normal in a matter of moments, though he still seemed rather tense.  
"I suppose it is time for me to take my leave, my dear!" He said, waving his arms about flamboyantly. "I wouldn't wish to impose, after all!"  
Honestly, he may as well have told you he was an angel from heaven and it would have sounded more believable.  
"Yes, yes. Goodbye." You say simply, waving him off. You feel his gaze sharpen once more. 

"Goodbye, my darling. See you early tomorrow."   
You almost, almost jump, having not expected him to suddenly be so close behind you, his mouth by your ear. You vaguely caught a scent of blood and musky cologne, before the door closed behind Alastor. You stared at it for a while, before shaking your head. 

Tomorrow would be a very long day.


	4. Breakfast and Blowjobs?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! This one took a bit longer to write, it's back to school time and lifes getting busy again. I'll try my best to keep a steady pace but that pace may be a bit slower from now! Anyways, thanks for your patience and enjoy!

Once you were sure Alastor wouldn't come back to pester you, and that you were truly alone, you began to make yourself at home. The first thing you did was set up a protection spell around your room. It was simple, but ridiculously helpful and effective. Nobody would be able to enter the room without your explicit permission. That would not only keep away a certain irritating redhead, but also any others who may think that sneaking into a stranger's room would be a good idea. This was to be a hotel full of sinners, after all. You doubted many would come here with entirely pure intentions.   
The next thing you did was conjure up some of your belongings. First, the warderobe filled with your clothes after a flash of crimson magic. You looked over them to make sure you hadn't missed anything, before nodding to yourself. Perfect. Next, you moved to the shelves, pushing off the silly little decor and sending it straight through a portal into the void. You hoped Charlie wouldn't mind. Snapping your fingers, the shelves refilled with your books instead, old and dusty magic tomes which you still found useful. You went into the large bathroom, admiring the design of it before conjuring your toiletries. Makeup went on the vanity, and the chest of drawers was filled with your odds and ends, little sentimental items along with miscellaneous but still potentially useful things.   
Perfect. One last thing.  
The top of the chest of drawers became your new shrine with the click of a finger. Just because you were away from your temple didn't mean you could ignore your goddess. A wood carved statue of the beautiful Marena was the centerpiece, set on a simple white embroidered cloth. Around it you conjured some candles, crystals, amulets, your mortar and pestle, your athame*, and a porcelain offering bowl set right in front of the wood carving.   
Now you were truly done.   
With a pleased sigh, you headed for the bathroom to take a long bath and relax before what you were sure would be a very busy day.

You had been absolutely right, of course.  
You woke up bright and early as always, getting ready. You got dressed in your usual attire, the off-white top and overskirt, on top of the red and dark grey underskirts. The crimson waist scarf and heels. You looked over yourself in the tall mirror, tilting your head. Deeming yourself presentable, you headed out the comfort of your room and into the hall. 

Immediately, you were greeted by Alastor, who was stood in front of your door, arms behind his back, his head tilted as he grinned. He looked you up and down briefly before speaking.  
"Good morning, my dear! I trust you're well rested?"   
You stared at him, a little creeped out. "Uhh... Yeah." You reply with a mutter. "Why were you just...stood in front of my door, then?"  
Alastor laughed, that already irritating laughtrack playing behind him.  
"Why, my dear, I was going to come and make sure you were up bright and early, but then I noticed that little charm you set around your room! What a clever darling you are!" He patronized, pinching your cheek. You slapped his hand away. "Thanks. Now, I believe we have work to do?"   
Alastor nodded. "Oh, yes, absolutely!" He began leading you off down the hall, and you followed, simply letting him rant. "The first thing we must do, my dear, is prepare breakfast for our fellow staff and our...patron." He glanced back at you. You raised a brow.  
"The spider?" You ask, having forgotten his name. Alastor nodded.  
"Yes indeed, Angel Dust the spider! Upon preparing breakfast, I have some more tasks for you to help with such as helping plan some marketing campaigns and doing a bit of paperwork. This all within your skillset?" He asked, tone turning into something slightly mocking. You roll your eyes. "Of course." You scoff. In truth, you had no idea what a 'marketing campaign' was and had never filled out paperwork in both your life and your afterlife, but gods forbid you admit that to him. 

Once you both reached the kitchen, Alastor led you further in, glancing around.   
"Niffty prepared all the ingredients, wonderful." He said cheerily. With a hum, he threw off the red jacket he wore and hung it over the back of a nearby chair. With that, he rolled up his sleeves to his elbows and then conjured a hair tie and and tied his hair back. After that, he conjured an apron and tied it. You watched silently, biting your lip. He didn't look half bad like this. Still, the fact that he was such an obnoxious asshole was kind of a turnoff.   
Anyway.  
"My dear, may I ask that you put an apron on? Wouldn't want that pretty dress to get dirty, hm?" He chuckled. You blinked, before nodding. You easily summoned a plain apron and put it on, before heading over to the sink to wash your hands thoroughly.   
"What are we preparing?" You asked, drying your hands.   
"I'm so glad you asked, my dear! I thought today we could prepare another recipe my beloved mother taught me, an utterly delicious potato and egg breakfast skillet! Are you familiar?"  
You tilted your head. "Can't say I am."   
"Well then, don't fret! I'm more than happy to walk you through it!"   
He trekked across the kitchen and pulled out a chopping board, placing it on the counter along with a knife.   
"Now, what I'd like you to do, darling, is peel these onions and then chop it up, along with the green peppers right here, into cubes. Got that?"  
You nodded, picking up the knife. "Yeah, easy enough." You reply with a shrug, grabbing one of the onions. Alastor nodded eagerly.   
"Wonderful! Well, I'll get to work on peeling and chopping the potatoes and heating the skillet up!"   
He set himself on his own tasks, humming to himself constantly. The staticky radio playing in the background often changed tunes, but you noticed he was actually not rambling for once. Taking a brief glance over at him, you saw how genuinely focused he was on his tasks.   
You had been around long enough to notice the kind of look in his eyes that he had, the one of concentration and fulfillment. It made you realize that cooking was a true passion of his.

"Perhaps you may want a picture, darling, those tend to last longer."  
His absentminded voice made you jump a little, and you quickly returned to your chopping, brows furrowed.   
"I wasn't staring like that, you pompous fool." You snort, shaking your head. "I was simply mulling over the fact that cooking must be a genuine passion to you."   
Alastor laughed. "Of course it is! You share a similar power to I, you are fully aware that I could easily snap my fingers and conjure all this food we're making!" He said, looking over at you. "However, such a feat will make the food bland and undeserved. It should be worked for, like a piece of art! And finally when you are done, you get to enjoy the fruits of your labour, quite literally may I add!" The radio laugh track played vaguely behind his voice.   
Slowly, you nod. You supposed you could agree with him on that.   
Now that you had him going, Alastor continued his rambling.  
"Alright darling, get the onions on the skillet and brown them, then we add the peppers and potatoes." He said, watching you tip the diced onions onto the skillet. It began to crackle and fry, and soon the smell of cooking onions filled the room. You didn't mind it, it reminded you of home and of hearty meals and the warm fire. A welcome smell.  
After the onions began to fry, you both added the peppers and potatoes and Alastor cracked in some eggs, before seasoning everything with a seasoning he refused to tell you the contents of.  
"Well, I'm afraid I can't just reveal that information, my dear, family secrets and the like!" He chuckled. You raised a brow, but relented.   
"Alright, then. Would you like me to prepare everyone's drinks while you're busy with that?"   
Alastor glanced back at you, his grin widening.  
"Of course, you helpful little vixen!" He nodded. You rolled your eyes at the nickname. He was getting a little too comfortable with those. Still, he continued speaking.  
"Miss Charlotte enjoys a glass of orange juice with her breakfast, Miss Vaggie prefers a glass of cranberry juice, Angel Dust likes a cup of coffee with milk and two sugars, Husker...brings his own drinks, so don't mind him, Niffty has breakfast before us all so she can get straight to work, her preference not mine, and I am rather fond of a cup of strong black coffee."  
You stare at him. You had no idea what most of those drinks were.   
"Uhhh....right..." You furrow your brows. Alastor sighs dramatically, waving a hand. A nearby cupboard opened, and a jar full of some dark powder floated out an onto the counter.   
"This is coffee, darling. Use two teaspoons of this, dissolve in boiling water, and add what is needed, or leave for a black coffee. Understand?"   
You nod, quickly realizing what you had to do.   
"And orange and cranberry juice is in the fridge, they'll be in labelled cartons, so just pour a glass. And of course, prepare yourself whatever drink you enjoy with breakfast."   
With that, you set off to work.

No more than fifteen minutes later, breakfast was ready, including all the drinks. You and Alastor had set everything at the table just as the rest of the residents began coming in, sleepy and yawning. Everyone sat at their place, an extra chair conjured for you courtesy of Alastor. He sat you between him and Angel, no doubt because he didn't want to sit next to the flamboyant spider demon. It took you little time to realize how much of an uncouth flirt he was.   
"Oh, come on, Alastor!" Angel whined. "Just once! One small blowjob! ...Pretty pleeaase?"   
Alastor pinched the bridge of his nose, smile strained. "I said no, Angel, and if you ask again, I will turn you into an actual spider and step on you."  
"Oooh, kinky~"  
"RighT THAT'S IT-"  
You cut their quarrell off with your own question.   
"Pardon for my interruption, I'd just like to know what a 'blowjob' is."  
Their argument stopped, luckily, because everyone else was beginning to look worried. Now, they just stared at you. You blinked, eating some more of your breakfast.   
"...What?"  
Angel Dust suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. You blinked, furrowing your brows. Was he laughing at you? Did he dare?  
"Oh, toots! Your poor boyfriends!" He laughed, clutching his stomach. You stared at him, before narrowing your eyes.  
"Are you laughing at me?" You hissed, making Charlie reach over to grab your shoulder.  
"Rusalka, no!" She yelped. "He's just being himself, you shouldn't take it personally."   
Angel snickered at you.   
"Yeah, what she said." He snorted. "Anyway, a blowjob is when you suck a guys dick."  
You stare at him.   
"Why would you do that?" You raise a brow. What an odd concept. Angel snorted.  
"Cause it feels good, dumbass."  
"Okay, can I set him on fire now?" You glance around the table. Alastor, who had been oddly quiet until now, smirked, tilting his head.  
"As much as I would love to watch that, I'm afraid Miss Charlotte over here wouldn't take so kindly to setting her patrons alight." He said, Charlie nodding firmly. You sigh.   
"Alright. Well, I'm done with breakfast, so..." You stare at Alastor, who nods, before standing from the table.   
"Of course! It's time to begin our day, my sweet assistant. If you'll just follow me!"   
You nod and stand, following after him with a sigh. This would be a long day indeed.


End file.
